OVERHEARD

Today's OVERHEARD comes to us from an anonymous BFZ reader in the San Francisco Bay area who overheard a boy (approximately 7 years of age) state the following at a dog park.

"My Dad's my personal trash can! I actually put trash in his pocket."

Thanks for the postcard, anonymous. I know I speak for my fellow BFZ citizens when I say that this represents one fine piece of eavesdropping. OVERHEARDS are like butterflies which flutter away and are soon forgotten unless we catch them and pin them down for display on the internet. Each one is beautifully unique and worthy of our attention and admiration.

OVERHEARD

"Just give me two hours with that s---head. I'd f--- him up!"
Young white male in his mid-twenties, wearing knee-length denim shorts, Dr. Pepper T-shirt, and a white, trucker-style baseball cap with a single word, "POWER," emblazoned across the front in black lettering. He was speaking into his cellular phone device as he walked in front of Idyllwild's Chevron Station. I observed him walk past Mountain Top Liquor before crossing the street and turning into Village Market, speaking into his phone all the while. I found it kind of amusing that he felt he would need two hours to "f--- up"the unknown third party he was referring to. "He needs to go back to bravado school," I thought to myself. I imagined his Mother questioning his ability to change a tire and him shooting back, "You just give me a week alone with that car and I'll show you!" Then I wondered to myself if he would physically possess enhough stamina to "f--- up" someone for the full two hours. That sounds like it would require stamina on par with Super Man. I think I would tap out after a couple of minutes. In fact, I was told at the police academy that if you don't win a fight in the first two minutes then you probably lost.

OVERHEARD

"If you go into the boy's locker room in high school, sometimes it's a little…powerful…the odor in there. So I was thinking about the fact that, you know, we weren't washing our stuff enough."
President Obama during a recent address in Milwaukee, Wisconsin

OVERHEARD

"Yes, I know what he said. (Pause) No, I'm not confused about anything. (Pause) You're not listening to me. I understood him perfectly. PER-FECT-LY! It's not that I don't understand what's going on. You're just having a hard time realizing that I don't give a rat's (expletive deleted) about any of this.(Pause) Okay g'bye, thank you!"

Exasperated male, middle-aged and balding slightly with a muscular build, speaking on his cell phone to an unknown second party. Strawberry Creek Shopping Plaza Parking Lot- Idyllwild, CA

OVERHEARD

"I just hope she is her Mother like she says she is."
Middle-aged, white female to a male of like age and race, who I assume was her husband, as they exited Red Robin Restaurant. My mind swirled with all of the dark possibilities. Sometimes I would pay money for more context. Red Robin- Temecula, CA

OVERHEARD

"That's a polite sort of question with a polite sort of answer."

White, slightly overweight male, in his mid-thirties to a post office employee who had asked him, "How was your Christmas?" Said male went on to say that he had a "great Christmas." Post Office- Idyllwild, CA.

OVERHEARD

Today's OVERHEARD comes to us from BFZ correspondent, Lisa Tate.

"Once you get over to Honolulu you just get a bunch of Asians."

White, preppy-looking, male in his early twenties who was talking on his cellular phone device. Overheard in passing at Bradley International Airport in Windsor Locks, Connecticut.

OVERHEARD

"Oh, it's a good day. I'm still on the green side of the grass."
Mike, of Andreas Hotel & Spa, to a guest who shuffled into the hotel lobby and asked how he was doing.
Andreas Hotel & Spa- Palm Springs, CA.

OVERHEARD

"Okay honey, Mommy will take you to the potty, and then we'll come back and solve my cheese dilemma."

Mother in her late-twenties or early thirties mumbling to her daughter (maybe 7 or 8 years old) while staring at Fariway Market's cheese selection with a glassy expression on her face. Fairway Market- Idyllwild, CA

OVERHEARD

"He had us running aroud and looking for vampires that didn't exist and stuff. I was like, 'WHAT?!?!"

Teenage female to a male of like age as they were exiting Fairway Market- Idyllwild, CA

"When I first got my license I used to peel out right in front of the cops, but I wouldn't even get in trouble. They would just laugh at me."

Late teens or early twenties female employee at Fairway Market to a male of like age who was similarly employed by Fairway in conversation as they were stocking the shelves.- Idyllwild, CA

OVERHEARD

"You smoke that up, woman!"

Two female postal employees in conversation as they were sorting mail out of sight behind the mail boxes. Post Office- Idyllwild, CA

OVERHEARD

This overheard is brought to us by my friend, Beth Brunett.

"You are so sexy!"
A 5 or 6 year old boy in line at Disneyland to a like-aged little boy.

"I didn't even know what sexy meant 'til I was like 13. That's weird, right?"
Woman in her early twenties to her boyfriend after overhearing the above exchange between the aforementioned little boys.

Nice work, Beth! Keep those OVERHEARDS coming people!

OVERHEARD

Today's overheard comes to us from my brother, Job. (Check out Job's blog here.)

"I think if you actually did the math, by ounce, liquor is cheaper than ambien"
Walgreen's Pharmacy- Ruland, VT
Man with a long beard to a woman in a short skirt

OVERHEARD

This overheard is brought to us by my wife Sarah, who overheard this gem while purchasing a rotisserie chicken, a white onion, crema mexicana, and queso fresco at Fairway Market- Idyllwild, CA

"He's drunk!"
Female cashier at Fairway market in response to a second female cashier's question- "What's wrong with him?"

OVERHEARD

This overheard comes to us from our special BFZ correspondent in Vermont (and my Father), Barry Tate.

While seated in the waiting room of Dr. Coco's office, Mr. Tate observed a woman coming out from having been seen by the Doctor. She went up to the receptionist's desk to schedule her next appointment. The receptionist advised the women that nothing was available for another six months. She then inquired if the woman preferred a specific day of the week for her next appointment. The woman responded that six months was far enough away that one day was just about the same as another so the receptionist recommended April 15th which is a Thursday. That seemed fine to the woman so the discussion then turned to what time of day would be best. The woman preferred the morning so the receptionist gave some different options on the morning of the 15th. After going back and forth a little the woman finally made her decision and told the receptionist,

"8:45 is too early for me. I'll take quarter to nine." 

OVERHEARD

We have new neighbors. A rowdy encampment of the Califonia Conservation Corps has sprung up on the other side of the chain link fence that separates the Tate home from the San Jacinto State Park. We get new neighbors in the State Park just about every weekend, but never have they been so generous or so loud with their overheards. They seem to really enjoy the camaraderie of being part of the CCC and after work they kick back on the picnic tables and hoot and holler over card games. The evening meal is when they really let their hair down and the overheards start flying. Every day they offer up amazing overheards. After work I enjoy pulling a chair up to the fence and listening in on their banter. Frankly, if they were going to continue on as our neghbors I would rename my blog "Overheard" and devote my efforts exclusivley to documenting the cast-off fragments of conversation I am able to catch as they relax after a long day of trail maintenance.

"Man...they was running through the desert like three little wolves looking for cocaine, hookers and s--t!"


"You're scaring me, dawg!"


"Black dudes don't hacky-sack! Especially not with these boots!"


"Don't nobody know stew like I do. NOBODY!"


"Okay, did everybody wash their hands?"


"Where do I need to go to get some doughnuts up in here?"


"At first I was like, 'is that a skunk or some s--t?' but then I was like, nah man, that's you! You nasty, man. Seriously, you nasty. You need to see a doctor or something!"


"Give me a dollar."


"Get yo own dollar!"


"Yeah, they got some big a-s bears up in these mountains."
(This quote was in response to the question "Are there any bears up here?" For the record, we do not have any bears in the San Jacinto Mountains.)


"She works hard during the day, but she don't help around camp. Somebody needs to say something to her."

(Mostly what I hear though is laughter. They are almost always laughing. It makes me want to go sign up with the CCC.)

OVERHEARD

This edition of OVERHEARD comes to us from our special BFZ correspondent in western New York, Steve Maxon.

"That's how you know the world is messed up-- when you have to pay $1.25 to park for an hour on Planet Earth. On free Planet Earth!"
Outside of a coffee shop, spoken to a heavyset, oft-pierced female Goth by a rail-thin, hippie-looking, stoner-type male employee.

OVERHEARD THIS PAST SUMMER

Although I took most of the summer off from blogging I didn't stop accumulating overheards. I stealthily captured nearly two dozen of them as I went about my business. I have narrowed that down to these ten, which represent the best of the catch. The rest I have released back into the ether.

"Do you have any idea why the media is here?"
Hospital security guard to a nurse. Kaiser's Emergency Room in Moreno Valley, CA

"He is soooo not into you. He's into Jasmine. I told you that!"
Teenage female speaking rather insensitively to a second female of like age who was sitting down in the dirt and crying. Camp Maranatha- Idyllwild, CA

"It's weird because, like, all night I had the most amazing dreams, and I was, like, just trying to tell this kid about one of the dreams in the morning and he didn't get it. Ya know? I couldn't really, like, find the words I guess. I don't know. Do you know what I mean?"
Male camp counselor in conversation with a female camp counselor on the deck of the Ice Cream Parlor. Camp Maranatha-Idyllwild, CA

"He shoots! He scores!"
Yelled from the open, passenger-side window of a late model Ford pickup truck by a shirtless middle-aged man who had seconds before tossed an empty gatorade bottle from the aforementioned window which landed nowhere in particular and went rolling and clattering toward the edge of the road. As the truck drove off the man gave me a toothy grin before turning toward the truck's driver and asking "Did you see that?"
Maranatha Dirve- Idyllwild, CA

"What are you talking about? I love the smell of pine sap. I just don't like sitting in it."
Thirty-something female in conversastion with a male of like age who I assumed was her husband as the mounted the stairs toward the Red Kettle Restaurant. Idyllwild, CA

"They should post a warning on the way up the mountain that you may not want to go back home again. Seriously, I could live here."
Middle-aged female waxing enthusiastic about her love for Idyllwild and the mountains. Outside Fairway Market- Idyllwild, CA

"Who? Her? No! She's not the one I was talking about."
Twenty something male in conversation about a woman who was walking into the Post Office with a second male of like age outside of Gary's Deli. Gary's Deli- Idyllwild, CA

"Did you see that coyote, kids?"
Excited man speaking through the open window of a car to some kids seated in the back seat. Shell Gas Station- Idyllwild, CA

"Shock-shock! Push-push!"
Male nurse explaining to a patient (who was technically in my care and can verify that this actually happened) that if he didn't urinate he might go into cardiac arrest "or worse." It was weird. Name and location of facility withheld.

"I said I didn't want chocolate! D--- it! I specifically said no chocolate this time!"
Angry thirty-something female to a second female of like age who had run into the store apparently to get her a snack. She went on to explain that what she really wanted were "some wheat thins." Huh. Parking lot outside of Fairway market- Idyllwild, CA.

OVERHEARD

“I told him ‘go ahead,’ and he was like, ‘Did you just call me a doh-doh-head?’ and I was like ‘NO!’ Can you believe that? He actually thought I called him a doh-doh-head! So embarrassing!”


Giggly man to a second man who wore a bemused expression on his face as they exited Fairway Market- Idyllwild, CA.

OVERHEARD AT THE BEACH

"Hey man, you just do your thing. Just focus on what you gotta do, and all that other b---s--- will just take care of itself."
Heavy set, middle-aged male, heavily tattooed, and wearing swimming trunks, wife-beater, and blue crocs speaking to an unknown second party via cell phone outside a public restroom. (Moonlight Beach- Encinitas, CA)

"I tried talking to her about it, but you know Crystal, she won't admit when she's wrong. She just shut me out."
Twenty-something female in conversation with a second female of like age walking along the beach. (Moonlight Beach- Encinitas, CA)

"Isn't this crazy! Look at all these people! Have you ever seen so many people at the beach before."
Middle-aged female to two teenage males. She waved her hand expansively to encompass the throng of holiday beach goers crowding the water. (Moonlight Beach- Encinitas, CA)

"Ah, Dude, look. Look at those two, dude! Just do it! Come on, throw the ball! Throw it!"
Twenty something male of hispanic ancestry to a younger male (possibly his brother). He was trying to get the younger male to purposefully throw a football so that it would land near two bikini-clad females who were walking down the beach. The ball was perfectly placed so that the twenty-something male nearly collided with the aforementioned females in his attempt to catch it, which, of course, necessitated an apology. His attempts to follow up his apology with follow up conversation were thwarted however, and the two females continued down the beach. (Moonlight Beach- Encinitas, CA)