Dear President Obama,

Can something be done for February? It's clearly the runt of the monthly litter, and a sad, depressing little corner of the calendar as well. I propose giving it thirty days like other months. Take a day from January and another from March and give them to February. If any man possesses the necessary authority to rearrange the months it is you, Mr. President. March in particular has needed a good trimming for the longest time. Who wants an extra day of March? Not I. What I want, no, what I demand is two more days of February.

In fact, I think it would make the most sense, and I'm sure you will agree with me Mr. President, that only the finest months should be given an extra 31st day. I propose that you take May's 31st day and give it to June. That way all three summer months would have 31 days. October and December can keep their 31st day because of their inherent and obvious awesomeness.

And during a leap year we can still add a day onto February, which would go a long way towards making up for the years of abuse it has endured. Call it reparations if you wish.

As a well known champion of the little guy I am confident that you will take up February's cause. I thank you in advance for your support in this worthy effort.

Sincerely,

 

Marlene Rini