1. Patrick Ewing is the sweatiest man I've ever seen.
2. Rod Blagojevich's hair is like a reverse halo.
3. A sneeze is kind of like vomiting in that it builds and builds and then explodes, but unlike nausea, the whole process of sneezing feels good. Why would I take a medicine to prevent sneezing? Every time is like a gift.
4. I like a nice forehead.
5. Why would I buy these paintings in this catalog when full color versions of the paintings are included in miniature inside the catalog? I'll just keep the catalog in my desk. That way I can take it out whenever I want and look at all of the free paintings. Bam! It's a poor man's museum, this catalog.
6. The only cool thing about velcro is that it is vaguely futuristic, but velcro just isn't classy.
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