Showing posts with label OBJECTS THAT PREDATE THE MERGER. Show all posts
Showing posts with label OBJECTS THAT PREDATE THE MERGER. Show all posts

Thursday, September 22, 2011

TRAGEDY

 I wrote about our sturdy plastic strainer a few years ago when I first introduced a new feature- OBJECTS THAT PREDATE THE MERGER. It is one of those few objects that date back to the dark ages of my bachelor existence. Tonight as Sarah was straining some pasta the handle suddenly broke.
 Nothing was found to be wrong with the strainer itself so it will live to strain pasta again, but it is wounded and damaged now. That shortened handle just might prove the death of this noble strainer. For now we will hesitate before pouring off hot pasta water for fear that the shortened handle will result ina burned hand. Aye, the writing is on the wall. You've had a good long run. Remember when we used to make Maccaroni and Cheese at 19A Lower Weldon Street? Good times. Good times. We'll see if the old girl can still cut it. We'll see...

Should I convert the handle into a Christmas ornament?

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

OBJECTS THAT PREDATE THE MERGER

Move over Klaus Teuber! I too am an inventer of awesome board games. Back in the summer of 1999 I invented a board game about pirates and adventure on the high seas as a gift for Sarah, who was my girlfriend at the time. We were separated for the summer. I had stayed on at Houghton College (my old alma mater) for the summer to work on their custodial crew, and Sarah had returned to California. In the evenings, after I was done with work, there wasn't much to do in Houghton so I made this board game. I have found that mindless, reptitive labor followed by hours of complete down time consitutes the choicest of conditions for creativity to bloom.  If my labor today was more mindless and  if there were fewer demands on my evenings I think I would have written the great American novel by now. Anyway, the conditions were perfect in the summer of '99 for the birth of such a board game, and after working on it in the evenings for a week I shipped it off to my hot girlfriend in California. ('cause nothing tells your special lady that you've been thinking of her like a random, home-made board game.) I named the game "Tarberry Islands" after the main character of a defunct disney series, "The 100 lives of Black Jack Savage," which I enjoyed as a wee lad.
I pulled out Tarberry Islands this week because I have been reading "Stowaway" to the kids at bedtime, which is also about pirates. I was honestly suprised at how much the kids liked the game. Their ships navigated the treacherous waters surrounding the Tarberry Islands experiencing unspeakable hardships- scurvy, the royal navy, hostile natives, drunken crews, storms, sea monsters, sea battles, even mutiny- and all in search of treasure. Each had little sacks, hand-sewn by your's truly in 1999 from the remnants of a plaid shirt that Sarah didn't like, which swelled or shrunk over the course of the game depending on their fortunes. Jack, or Captain Jack as I prefer to call him, was the big winner, which was fortunate because much like the pirates of old he pretty much just dissolves into tears when things don't go him way.
Bowden proved bouyant in defeat and kind of hyper in victory.
Lucy was less bouyant, but not nearly as fragile as Captain Jack. She really only cried once, when she lost all of her money to The Shiny Shekel, captained by Bowden. Their two vessels intersected off the coast of Tate Island and a sea battle ensued. Bowden won two out of three rolls and "The Matilda," captained by Lucy, had to limp back into port for repairs without its accumulated booty. Lucy found it was easier to repair her ship than her bruised heart, but after a quick conference with Mom in the next room she came back with dry eyes and intent on revenge. Lucy perked up considerably when she pulled the Island Princess card on one of her turns, which spared her from all native attacks and when other players paid off the marauding natives the money went directly to her. Cha-ching! Plus she got to wear a pretty necklace which came with being the Island Princess. Captain Jack was sad that him didn't get to be the Island Princess though.
It's fun now that the kids are actually old enough to play games with. 1999-Josh had no idea as he crafted this game that he would one day play it with his and 1999-Sarah's kids. That's awesome!