LETTERS TO THE PRESIDENT

Dear Mr. President,

I am still waiting for a response from you regarding my letter dated October 5, 2009 regarding your sasquatch policy, or the nonexistence thereof. Finding a concrete sasquatch policy position from your office is proving as elusive as North America's great ape itself. Thanks, as always, for your kind attention to this matter.

Respectfully,

Job Tate

DEAR PRESIDENT OBAMA,

I recently purchased a 20 oz bottle of Diet Pepsi for $1.59 at a local grocery store. After doing a little math I was horrified to discover that the cost of my pepsi works out to about $10.17 a gallon!!! At current prices, the same 20 oz container filled with gasoline would only cost about $0.62. What's wrong with this picture? Was my Diet Pepsi pumped from beneath the Arctic ice shelf? Does it originate from beneath the burning sands of some war-torn middle-eastern dictatorship? Can gasoline quench my thirst the same way that Diet pepsi does? No, no and I wish!!! We all know that not drinking Diet Pepsi is simply not an option. So I am writing to you, esteemed Mr. President, to do something about this very serious problem. Some weeks I have to choose between pepsi or eating. Sometimes I even have to travel to Mexico to get my pepsi. That's not right. As an American I feel that I should be able to able to purchase my pepsi with dignity and at an affordable price.

Thank you, Mr. President, for your kind consideration of my concerns,

Respectfully,

Chad Irving

DEAR MR. PRESIDENT,

Greetings from Chico, CA!!! I am a big believer in top-down management. It's like I always say, "if you want to get something done you have to start at the top," and, you sir, are at the top. So I'm starting with you. Some might argue that I should begin by addressing my representative in congress or even the local city council, but I am firmly persuaded that this would only serve to waste my time and theirs. 

There is a debate raging across this nation, and I feel it is imperative that you, as our nation's leader, take a firm and unapolegtic stand. I am referring, of course, to the old couch vs. sofa debate. I am a couch person, and I feel that people who insist on referring to couches as sofas are frankly unamerican. Who do they think they are? In a spirit of deference to some older Americans, with whom I am pleased to be acquainted, I have occasionally called couches, "Davenports," but never sofa. Never!

If you would please consider directing the White House Staff and the nation's armed services to refrain from referring to couches as sofas I feel that it would go a long way towards persuading those backward pockets of the population to follow course. The weight of your example here cannot be underestimated. The nation is looking to you.

Thank you for entertaining my letter,

Respectfully,

Sharon Rose Paulson