LIVING LIFE ON THE RECORD

Check out my other blog, (see sidebar) or click HERE, to get updates on the daily minutae of Joshua Bowden Tate's life. If you have been stalking me this is your lucky day!

What happened?!?!

So after declaring that I would be posting twice a day for the rest of the year to make my goal of 370 posts in 2011, you may be wondering why I fell silent for the past 4 days. Well...on Thursday, Bowden and I headed out into the wilds for an overnight backpacking adventure and then Friday afternoon I headed out of town to Indian Wells, CA down in the desert for my church's annual Elder Planning Retreat. It was a busy four days, but now I'm back, and I have some catching up to do. Better get posting.

COMING SOON...

The BFZ will return in all of its glory this coming Sunday (Sept. 4th). That will leave me just 119 days to make my goal of 370 posts in 2011. To date I have posted 188 times so far this year (189 if you include this post). So that means I have to post 181 times in 119 days to make my goal. I got this!!! So stay tuned...regular programming will resume shortly.

A WEEK!

It has been a while since I went a week without posting. Sheesh! I follow a number of blogs and the only thing I dislike more than prolonged dry spells between posts is when the authors suddenly reemerge only to post about how they haven't been posting enough. So I shouldn't do that, right? I post plenty, generally speaking, so I have nothing to apologize for, but I still feel the need for a mea culpa.

Let me explain, a number of factors have contributed to the lack of recent content here at the BFZ. First, it is summer time, and my job at Camp Maranatha has been very busy as a result. In addition to hosting hundreds of youth during any given week we also have a summer staff here on the grounds, which I often describe as a 24 hour youth group with an emphasis on service. If you knew the kind of awesome stuff that God has been doing in and through the ministry here at Maranatha you would not mind sacrificing the BFZ for it. Last week alone 21 kids asked Christ into their hearts! It is good to be invested in such a work. The second reason is that lady muse has entirely abandoned me lately. For weeks I have felt like so many dry sticks, and writing, which usually has a momentum all its own in my experience, has felt very uphill indeed. I have simply had nothing to say.

Ah well! Even though I still feel like so many dry sticks and I continue to have nothing to say I'm gonna resume posting just the same. Should be interesting.

VIVE LE BFZ!!!

I'M BACK!!!

Posting will resume soon.

BUILDING A STONE WALL

I have never built a stone wall, but someday I would like to. Seven years ago I even read a book on the topic. It had the unimaginitive title of "Building Stone Walls," but it offered numerous insights into the art and method behind their construction which I would not have thought of otherwise. I love the looks of an old stone wall. They are beautiful to me in a way that no other border can rival. They have a settled, heavy feel about them, which I enjoy, and I think they scratch an itch inside all of Adam's sons and daughters to exercise dominion over the earth. It's satisfying to see a straight and orderly line made from so many rough, irregular pieces. 

I remember that the book recommended collecting a large pile of rocks before getting started. The reason being that often times you will need to find a rock that has just the right shape, weight and size to fit a niche as you build, and it helps to have a large collection to select from.

I sometimes think of my posts like that- a collection of rough, irregular thoughts varying in shape, weight and size- and the BFZ is my rock pile, but what will I eventually build with them? I'm not sure, but the thought occurs to me that I would like to incorporate them into something straight and orderly someday.

SOMETHING IS ROTTEN IN THE STATE OF BFZ

Some have been quietly exerting influence behind the scenes to get me to take down the photo of the FART BOMB wrapper featured in the latest installment of "BFZ PRODUCT CENSURE." They claim it is "IN POOR TASTE," "OFFENSIVE" and "GROSS." I suspect that FART BOMB got to them somehow, and either they're in FART BOMB's pocket or they've been threatened and bullied into pressuring me to back down. Something stinks around here and it may just be FART BOMB.

"IS THIS GONNA END UP ON YOUR BLOG?"

A blog is a lot like a family photo album. If all you knew about a family was based on the contents of their photo albums you might come to the wrong conclusion that their life was full of vacations and get-togethers, smiles and happy moments. After all, who takes pictures of the mundane, the routine, or the quiet moments in life. Both blogs and photo albums tend to be carefully manufactured by their creators to present a certain side of who they are. It’s not dishonest so much as it is incomplete. This is true to some extent in all human interaction, but I think the problem is exaggerated on-line.

The trouble comes when people who only know the carefully-manicured me meet the Josh Tate who lives without a delete button. There is a large and growing number of people who know me this way, which can be problematic for a number of reasons. I suppose it is not entirely negative though (unless you dislike my on-line persona). In many respects it is simply inevitable, and at the end of the day I’m simply glad to be known, but it can become a bit awkward when the two worlds collide. This is so because we are both more and less than our on-line personas.

The most troubling thing about this dichotomy for me personally is that those who know me primarily through my blog seem to think that I approach every relationship and experience as fodder for my next post. "Is this gonna end up on your blog?" they ask. It's almost as if they think my life orbits my blog rather than the other way around.  Maybe I take myself too seriously, but I want those within my sphere to understand that I don’t view them, or our shared experiences, as blog fodder.

THE BUMMER-FREE ZONE'S NATIONAL ANTHEM- "Sweet, Sweet Corn on the Cob" (written and performed by Josh Tate*)

*One day, on a whim, I typed my name into Youtube just to see if there were any other Josh Tates making news out there. I was surprised to find that several Josh Tates were featured in Youtube videos, but none of them struck me as being particularly worthy of my name until I happened upon a video of Josh Tate, not me but a black man living in Baltimore, singing a song to a female co-worker on his last day of work. Did he quit? Was he fired? I don't know, but that was the context. He seemed relaxed so I have always assumed it was an amicable parting. With a name like Josh Tate I am sure that he wasn't fired. I imagine that he found a way better job where he made loads of money- that's what a Josh Tate would do! I originally linked the video here, but when I went back to see if I could find it, I was sad to discover that the video was no longer available on Youtube, and all traces of Josh Tate (him not me) had vanished from the face of the interweb (I am very much present on the interweb.). The song was "Sweet, Sweet Corn on the Cob," which I immediately memorized so I could sing it to my kids at bedtime. Thankfully that allows me to recreate the song here. I have googled the lyrics, but likewise to no avail. This has led me to believe that Josh Tate (him not me) wrote the song himelf. I am reluctant to claim this song as the BFZ's national anthem without first obtaining permission from Mr. Tate, and I think it would have also been cool to interview him about the song (and being a Josh Tate) before posting this, but alas he has slipped away and out of reach. I did make a good faith effort though. Sorry, Josh Tate for stealing your song. At least we're keeping it within the brotherhood. Josh Tates of the world unite!

COMING SOON!

Bummer-Free Zone President, Josh Tate, announced today at a press conference that he plans to personally perform the BFZ's new national anthem sometime in the near future. When pressed for more details, the ruggedly handsome President smiled coyly and said, "Prepare to be amazed." Despite mounting pressure to divulge which song the BFZ had chosen for its anthem, Tate has kept his cards close to his chiseled, adonis-like chest, saying only that "[the song] is almost as beautiful as I am." An anonymous source within the BFZ leaked a list of songs considered to be in contention earlier this week. Armed with the list, CNN's Chuck Berlinsky asked Tate directly if the anthem was "Do the Hustle," "Starry-Eyed Surprise," "Kung-Fu Fighting," "Grazing in the Grass," or "Patches," Tate responded cryptically, "What do you think, Chuck?" and then hurriedly left the room before any follow up questions could be asked, which has only served to fuel speculation that the anthem is indeed among the songs listed. Only Tate and his closest confidants can know for sure. We'll keep you posted.

I THINK THE BUMMER-FREE ZONE NEEDS A NATIONAL ANTHEM. ANY SUGGESTIONS?

I'M BACK!

Despite Sheriff Lovely's unlawful efforts to seize control of the BFZ while I was away I'm back and I have sent sent him whimpering into the night like a frightened jackal. Special thanks to my Brother, Job, for the able job that he did filling in for your's truly while I was out of town.

I just spent the most wonderful week in Monterey, CA with Sarah. I mean wonderful in the truest sense of the word. Break it down with me into its component parts- WONDER + FULL= WONDERFUL. Full of wonders.  All five senses- sight, smell, hearing, taste and touch- were pushed to the point of exhaustion trying to take it all in, and I doubt very much that I am a capable enough writer to distill the experience down into words. I might try a little though. Perhaps I do not need to reinvent the wheel. Steinbeck already did the job of committing the Monterey experience to paper in "Cannery Row" and "Tortilla Flats." So if you would like to take a literary vacation to Monterey, I think Steinbeck would make an excellent guide. After all. anyone who has gained an appreciation for reading has also provided himself with a means of escape and a cheap vacation.

Speaking of the five senses, how amazingly extravagant is the Creator of this world who authored the colors of a sunset and poppies in the dunes, the smell of wood smoke on the beach and good things cooking, the sound of waves crashing and sea lions barking, the taste of crab and salt water taffy, the joys of sex or the feel of a hot tub on a cold night? He didn't just give us the minimum, the barest essentials that we need to survive and propagate the earth. No, he gifted us with all of these extraordinary things and more besides. He's extravagant and wonderfully generous, and the trip was made worshipful for me in that every moment was full of an awareness of the Creator who purposefully made these things to be enjoyed, and in enjoying them I also worshiped.

Posts to follow...

STATE OF THE BLOG ADDRESS

Greetings fellow residents of the Bummer-Free Zone!

As I have stated previously, this blog lacks focus, or perhaps it would be more correct to say that this blog lacks a single focus. It seems to me that most of the blogs I frequent (With a few notable exceptions) have a singular purpose which lends continuity to its posts. Some are family blogs, others are devoted to Christianity, or politics or art, etc... Mine clearly has no such singularity of purpose, and as Vince Lombardi once said, "Success demands singleness of purpose." This blog has really just become a catch-all for whatever whimsies guide the tap, tap, tap of my keyboard on that day, and to be honest that kind of bothers me. This blog is rudderless. I feel like a cause would infuse the BFZ with purpose, increase its readership, and, frankly, justify the amount of time I spend blogging. Hmmm... I'll have to think about that some more. Any suggestions?

In other news, due to an impasse in the ongoing negotiations over the BFZ's 2011 budget a full blog shutdown has been threatened. The central issue seems to be funding for the World Bobberball Association, which currently represents 20% of the BFZ's total budget. Defenders of the WBA subsidy point out that roughly 70% of the budget goes toward the purchase of Diet Pepsi's, and that instead of defunding the WBA the amount spent on Diet Pepsi should be cut dramatically perhaps by changing to a generic diet cola. BFZ president, Josh Tate, has threatened to veto such a measure.

Lastly, the BFZ has assumed overall command of the operation in Lybia.

Good night.

MIDNIGHT PIE!!!

I ALSO HATE THIS RED BACKGROUND...

...but I've decided to stand pat, and see this hideous background through until after Valentine's day. I'm increasingly convinced that a man should finish what he sets out to do, and I have purposed in my heart to keep it red until then in honor of the holiday.

I know that red is the color of love, but that is an artificial construct. In my mind, red is not truly the color of the love that Sarah and I enjoy. I think if I could reassign a new color to love I would probably say that love is as gold as a bright tomorrow, as green as money in the bank, as purple as an easy, comfortable silence, or perhaps even as brown as a rich soil from which four beautiful trees would grow. 

Red is the color of anger and injury. It also invokes memories for me of papers returned all marked up by a teacher's pen, and of communist revolutions. For those of you who are spiritually minded, I'm aware of the significance of Christ's blood ( and by extension the color red) as the purest expression of love, but I write without an ounce of concern for theological correctness. My mind can embrace that thought, and I do agree with it of course, but my heart won't follow suit. I reject red on a gut level as the color of love. It just doesn't sit right with me. Red has too much baggage.

(It also doesn't feel right as the BFZ's background. The black background gave the feel of entering a 24-hour diner for some midnight pie. It felt right. This feels wrong. Don't worry, on Tuesday everything will be back to normal. Anyone up for some midnight pie?)

2011

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

2010 is in the books, and the official numbers are in. I only posted 254 times in 2010. Pretty weak, right? That's the least I have ever posted in the five years I have been blogging but all in all it wasn't a bad body of work. There were some meomorable moments in there, no? Who can ever forget the birth of the sleeping club, or when I showcased my amazing bed-making skills through the medium of dance? Remember also the time I punched a man in the face, drank Korean instant coffee, and discussed a chipmunk's stinky booty with my straight-shooting son, Jack. That's not all, that's not even the tip of the iceberg, I also decapitated a dead deer for the purposes of an arts and crafts project. I interviewed my brother's girlfriend, Lisa McNerney. Oh, and remember when we explored the wonderful world of tents, walked the streets of idyllwild under the influence of caffeine, overheard snippets of conversation, concocted ideas for commercials, and photo-documented some of the finest beards to ever grace the San Jacinto mountains of Southern California. It was a lot of fun, but perhaps the best of all was the great debate over the importance of sex to a marriage.

As good as that was I think the BFZ can do even better. In 2011 I intend to break my personal posting record of 369 posts in a year (2009). So come by often. I hope to transform this sleepy little corner of the internet into a more happening place. Here's to 2011! Vive le Bummer-Free Zone!!!

THINKING ABOUT COMING IN

Josh Tate has entered into serious talks with Facebook about coming in and surrendering.

I am borg!!!

EXHIBIT A

Sometimes I get the unsettling feeling that someday this blog is going to be used against me. In the next couple of days I intend to offer up more fodder for the prosecution by resuming posting. Hooray!!!

TIME OUT

For those of you who follow the BFZ regularly (all three of you) I want you to know that posting is going to be kind of spotty over the next couple of weeks. My brother, John, is getting married TOMORROW to my good friend, Lisa Richard, and the whole family has flown in from the eastern seaboard. So, to make a long story short, I am apologizing in advance for the lack of posting during the next couple of weeks.

Happy Thanksgiving!