AN HONEST TREE

We're gonna go get a Christmas tree!
We're gonna go get a Christmas tree!
We're gonna go get a Christmas tree!
And bring it home tonight!

There is something magical about a Christmas tree lot, isn't there? The spacious aisles, the neat rows of trees, the lights, the festive atmosphere. My kids were amped up like chimps on cocaine as the van's tires bit into the gravel parking lot and came to a stop. No sooner were we parked then Bowden and Lucy were out of their seat belts and screaming to be freed from the confines of their Astro Van prison. With so many "Stay close to us's," and "Don't go where we can't see you's" dropped on their deaf ears we finally slid the door and watched as they ran scatter shot into the miniature forest. Pretty soon calls of "Daddy, over here, this one!" and "Mommy, check this one out" could be heard from one corner of the lot to the other.

Miles was watched like a hawk, and, unlike his slippery siblings, failed to elude our supervision. He was completely non-plussed by the Christmas trees though and fell to work eating the wood chips.

Sarah and I did our annual groaning over the price of Christmas trees, which was followed by our annual shrugging of the shoulders. What can you do?

We hadn't been inside the lot more than 10 minutes when Jack began conspicuously grabbing his wee little manhood, which is a red flag Sarah and I have learned not to ignore. So as soon as Sarah alerted me to the impending disaster I snatched him up and escorted him to the most evil looking porta-potty you have ever seen (or smelled) out by the parking lot. Jack would have none of it. So I took him behind the porta-potty and down an embankment where we found some bushes, but Jack claimed that his need to pee had mysteriously disappeared. My stubborn attempts to convince him that he did indeed still need to pee produced tears but no urine. So I pulled his pants up and we went back to the Christmas tree lot where he miraculously kept his pants dry. It was a Christmas miracle!

Finally, the decision was made and this fine speciment of a Noble Fir was netted, payed for and lashed to the top of our van.

Ouch!

"Miles, with a big fistful of wood chips.

Bowden is such a stud. He clambered up onto the van to help the lady tie it down. He was actually very helpful. The boy has good instincts.

Then we changed the kids into their pajamas and set a course for home. The kids fell right to sleep.

It's pretty, no?