PREFACE TO "THE TALK"

Sex. I have developed some thoughts on the subject, which I have been reluctant to publish here until now for a few reasons. First- My own informal research has concluded that roughly three-quarters of BFZ readers are women, and there is something decidedly unseemly (maybe even creepy?) about a man speaking to a largely female audience about this topic. However, as I will explain shortly, my thoughts on the topic of sex are primarily intended for a future audience and not you...whoever you are. (You might find them helpful as well though. I don't know.) Second- Some may view my musings as a form of spiritual exhibitionism. I assure you this is not my intention. I will be avoiding anything too revealing or personal. Third- I don't want anyone to think that I am taking up the topic simply because it is sensational. That's not how I roll.

So why go there at all? In order to answer that question I must first speak to why I maintain a blog in the first place.

I spoke with someone recently about the demise of their now defunct blog. I asked them why they stopped blogging, and they told me very candidly "Because no one ever commented." I love comments, but that has never motivated me. Apart from entertaining the small group of BFZ faithful who check in regularly, this blog has three main purposes, which I have held since the BFZ's beginnings. Until now I have only shared one of the three reasons with you all. That first being that I often think of the BFZ as a "rock pile" for my thoughts and ideas- a place to collect them in written form. The second, is that sometimes I just need to write, and the BFZ is my outlet where that happens.  The third is a tad more personal, but I will share it anyway because it is the very reason why I plan to take up the topic of sex. Quite often I have come to think of the BFZ as an open letter to my children. Sometimes, I worry that I will die in a car crash or something and my children will grow up wondering about me, and what I thought about this or that. For the sake of my children I am going on record. I love you kids.

So this brings me back to sex. I believe that silence is surrender. Our culture is not quiet on the topic of sex. At every opportunity we are confronted with images and ideas which threaten to shape my childrens' view of sexuality. So, as a Father, I don't have the liberty of remaining silent. The enemy has forced my hand. I'm aware though that words are just noise if they are not backed up by a life that agrees with them. The enemy will try to undermine my words through moral failure and hypocrisy. I know this is the strategy. Boys, I'm trying to be the man I want you to be. Lucy, I'm trying to be the man I want you to marry. Let's talk about it.