FIRST DATE

I fell in love with Sarah during the summer of 1995. I remember the exact moment- I was walking across the camp's center grass and she was sitting on the front steps of the dining hall. She was wearing flip-flops, a dark blue t-shirt, jeans, and her hair was up in a pony tail. WHAMMO! Just like that, in an instant, I became smitten! I got bit hard! I remember coaching myself a lot that summer not to stare at her too much. My eyes wanted to drink her in at every opportunity, and it required a fair amount of self-control to rein that impulse in. I had never seen anything so lovely as Sarah in all my life, and when I combined all the things I admired about her with this intense physical attraction I became wildly infatuated.

We had met the previous summer,worked briefly together on summer staff, and had written each other over the course of that fall, winter, and spring, but it wasn't until that moment, when I saw her on the steps of the dining hall, that I fell in love with her. At that point, I would not have admitted my new found feelings to anyone, but I acknowledged them internally. She was dating another guy that summer, but there was no jealousy. I felt a calm sort of resolve in my stomach. It was one of the few times in my life where I knew exactly what I wanted, and right from go I laid a course to get it. I was going to put my best foot forward and bank that the other guy had an expiration date on him.

We flirted...a lot... (I was no respecter of the other guy's claim) and I suspected that she liked me, but I thought maybe I was just seeing what I wanted to see. I was rife with insecurity. I knew what I wanted, but was not sure how to get it exactly. Up to that point I had played a good game, but I had no idea how to close the deal- how to make her mine. I had never asked a girl out, and I wondered if I had the guts to go for broke and risk rejection. I was scared to say anything overt. Plus, there was still the other guy- the one she called her "boyfriend." What was the deal with him? I met him once, and, not surprisingly, didn't like him. I continued my efforts to submarine him.

The summer of 1995 came to a close. I flew back to VT and she went back home to the valley and to her boyfriend. I had nothing to show for the summer, but a lot of empty flirting and an invitation to pick up our correspondence again, which I did with gusto. That was the winter that the mail box became a magical thing to me. I almost despised Sundays and holidays because there would be no mail on those days- no potential for word from Sarah. Oh, the joy of opening the mail box door and seing her familiar handwriting neatly scrawled across the front of an envelope.

The summer of '96 will always go down in my memory as the most magical summer of my life- the summer when I went on my first date and Sarah became my girlfriend. At the outset she was still dating the same guy, and so I continued my policy of puting my best foot forward, flirting a lot, and waiting for something to happen in my favor.

Then she broke up with him!

I was till too much of a scaredy-cat to go for it though.

Then one day she came and found me when she got off work. I was still working out on the grounds so she sat down nearby and started talking to me. She was talking about her recent breakup, and I mentioned that I had never even been on a date. It was still all very flirty and she suggested going on practice dates with the girls on staff. She even offered herself up as the first guinea pig. I thought that was a great idea!!! I jumped at it!

I don't know if she knew that this was the stuff of fantasy for me. Words fail to describe the emotion of that moment. I had somehow secured a date, a real honest-to-goodness date, with the sole object of my desire. This was the culmination of a lot of daydreaming and posturing. I was on cloud nine! Afterward I went back to the guy's staff house, went into the bathroom where I could be alone and had a little freak out!!! So excited!!!

We went out for dinner at Chelseas, a little burger joint in town, but the details of the date are fairly inconseqential. The main thing was that I had GONE ON A DATE WITH SARAH, and after that things quickly fell into place. I found the courage to explain how I felt. I felt tingly all over and slightly dizzy (like when you stand on the lip of the grand canyon or next to Niagra Falls) when she told me how she felt for me. WOW!!!

...and, as they say, the rest is history.

Happy Valentine's Day, Sarah. I love you. You remain the sole object of my desire.