THE YOUNG APPRENTICE

The air filters under the house have to be swapped out every thirty days here at the Tate ranch. It isn't anything I have to mark on the calendar though. As the thirty day mark starts to approach we know it is time because the whole house shakes and convulses as air slams against the clogged filters.

Some actual quotes from our guests in response to the heater kicking on have been:

"Is that an earthquake?"

"Is there a helicopter out there?"

and

"What is that?!?!"

If I let it go too long it can really be surprisingly violent, and the only reason I let it go longer than I should sometimes is because the job involves an army crawl through dust the consistency of baby powder in a close, dark, cobwebby space.

Today was a joyous day, however, as I trained Master Bowden to replace me.

Bowden has long been intrigued by the mysterious portal beneath the porch, which leads to untold adventures under the house.

"Alright Bowden, let me show you how we do it."

We did my side (the easy side) first and I showed Bowden how to open the door and how to orient the filter inside the heater.

Then Bowden wiggled under the heater like a dachsund into a rat hole with his flashlight gripped between his teeth. He's a gamer.

The door at the end of the army crawl is on the other side of the heater in a rather inaccessible spot.

Here I was very tempted to yell, "Bowden watch out for that rat!" But I didn't because he is deathly afraid of rats thanks to the animated classic, Lady and the Tramp, and because I was really very grateful for his help, and did not want to do anything to discourage his future cooperation.

Bowden is a good little man.