Monday, October 17, 2011

A BFZ SEX TALK- AN OPEN LETTER TO MY GOOSE

For previous BFZ SEX TALKS follow the links below-

#1- A Preface to "The Talk"

#2- Good Fire, Bad Fire

#3- The Problem of Sin

#4- Beware the Hidden Place

Over the years I have read a number of articles and such about the Father/Daughter relationship. I have read that it is important for Fathers of young girls to affirm them often- to tell them that they are gifted, pretty, special and fun. The theory being that if they don't get such affirmation from Dad they will seek it elsewhere. often, such articles darkly hint that withholding praise and affirmation can even lead to a promiscuous lifestyle, drug abuse, and a life spent seeking an identity from their peers rather than operating from a core identity which was imparted to them by their Father. Psychobabble-gobblety-gook? Maybe, but I think there is more than a kernel of truth to it, and I believe that I as a Father have a key role to play in forming the woman my daughter will grow to be.

Of course, if I were to follow that preface with some affirming statements about my daughter it would all look very machiavellian, premeditated and possibly even disingenuous. Luckily for me, my Goose, who truly is a beautiful and true-hearted little girl, makes such praise flow as naturally and undeniably as song from a bird's throat. She simply inspires it.

So if I write glowingly about you, Goose, it's not because I'm afraid of what might happen if I don't. I just can't help it. You simply inspire it, and I'm crazy about you.

As I explained during my preface to the first BFZ sex talk, one of the reasons I am writing out these thoughts (or even maintaining a  blog at all) is that sometimes I become concerned that I might die unexpectedly and my kids will grow up wondering about my thoughts on this topic or that. So, future-Lucy, if you're reading this, there are some things you're Dad wants you to know.


Dear Lucy,

You are beautiful. When I look at you my heart swells with pride. I mean it, and although you're only a little girl at the moment, I have no doubt that in the coming years you're gonna grow into a strikingly beautiful woman. That is you're Daddy's biased, though honest, assessment. I know something about pretty girls, after all, remember I successfully pursued your Mom. You and your Mom are far and away the prettiest girls I have ever known. That's not flattery either. I mean it. God is such a craftsman as never makes a mistake, and I believe that the way he crafted you- your looks, your personality, your smile, your haircolor, your green eyes, your unique giftings- are all a matter of purposeful design. Someday you're gonna focus your affections on a single man, and I smile to think of what a blessed man he will be.

Young man, if you're reading this in the future, I trust that you understand what a gift the creator has given you in Lucy. Even though I don't know your name, or even if you have been born yet, I sometimes pray for you as well. I am trying to be the man I want Lucy to marry, so in an odd sort of way you're kind of a role model for me.

Of course, our years under the sun are temporary. So too are such things as beauty and health and youth. People who are not spiritually minded take what is temporary and invest it back into that which is also temporary. Such a waste!  Christians should use what is temporary to effect what is eternal. Whatever God has chosen to bless you with during your days under the sun remember that God's desire is for you to use such temporary blessings- your money, your health, your youth, your time, your energy, your relationships, even your beauty- to effect what is eternal. This is very much the spirit of 1 Timothy 2:9. Although, I want you to know that I think you're truly gifted and lovely, I would be very sad if you grew to be vain, prideful and selfish. I love how Paul puts it in 1 Timothy 2:9, when he says that Christian women should dress themselves with good works. Let your good works be your bling! When I think of you prayerfully in the presence of God I give thanks for the gift that you are and I pray that no matter what the years hold for you that your heart would always hum to the tune of God's will. I'm excited to think of all the wonderful works that could flow from such a heart.

In Christ,

Daddy

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