CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED

On my morning constitutionals I have encountered a homeless man on two of my last three outings. At least I assume he's homeless. Perhaps he's an eccentric millionaire who shuffles along the streets of Idyllwild in the predawn hours shouting at passersby and looking disheveled, dirty and slightly unhinged because those are just some of his eccentricities. Or perhaps he is one of those angels traveling incognito that we are told of in scripture. I really should be nicer to him just to cover my bases.

Anyway, on two of my last three outings as I struck out for my morning jog I have encountered this man. On the first occasion where our two paths intersected he called out to me with a very jolly laugh, "Oh-hoh! An Alaskan surfer I see!" I smiled politely, not having the slightest clue what he he could possibly mean by that comment, and continued on my way. Occasionally I would look over my shoulder to make sure he wasn't following me.

Then the next morning as I was pounding my way down Lower Pine Crest I noticed he was walking up the street on the opposite side. He saw me. I saw him. There was enough distance between us that we both had time to plan for the moment when we would pass each other. I am a firm believer in greeting fellow passersby so I waved hello, and called out "Top of the morning to you!" In response, he bellowed across the street, "YOUR FRIEND'S A FOOL! HE'S GOTTA DEATH WISH AND HE'S GONNA GET IT!" I nodded in receipt of his warning, and picked up the pace. Occasionally I would look over my shoulder to make sure he wasn't following me.

Of course, I don't know which friend of mine he was referring to. I am blessed to have so many, you see, that I can't be sure who he was talking about precisely. So, friends, consider yourselves forewarned. Perhaps one of you has a death wish, and you should know that you just might get what you wish for, which would be death of course.

Yesterday morning as I headed out for my run I was sharply disappointed that the man didn't make an appearance. I looked for him coming and going, but he failed to show. My disappointment is defnitely the most puzzling aspect of this whole story to me. Why would I be disappointed? Reason tells me I should feel relieved, but there it is, unmistakably disappointed. It was like opening a fortune cookie to find no fortune inside.

Poor fella.