GERONIMO?

Since the daring raid last week in which a team of U.S. Navy Seals stormed Bin Laden's compound, killing him and making off with his corpse and a treasure trove of intelligence, much has been made in the media over Bin Laden's code name of "Geronimo." Honestly, I can see why indignenous Americans, especially our Apache friends, might have taken offense. I wouldn't want to be identified with the likes of Bin Laden either.

I think the department of defense should take me on as a consultant to come up with code names for all of their future black-op targets. I think I would be awesome at that! I could certainly do better than Geronimo!

Here are my top ten alternative code names for Osama Bin Laden:

10. Bubbles
9. Turd-burger
8. Shabby Sheikh
7. Snookie
6. Jeff
5. Birthday Boy
4. Boo
3. Whiskers
2. Dimes (just 'cause I have always thought it would make the coolest nickname in the world)
1. Cochise

Department of Defense, if you are monitoring this bit of internet traffic (We all know that you spy on us, D.O.D.!) and you like my ideas, then I'll meet you on the bench outside of the Idyllwild Public Library Wednesday afternoon at 11:30 am. Wear a red hat.  I'll have an envelope containing more suggested codenames, which I will hand over in exchange for an envelope stuffed with cash. See ya then!