Monday, May 2, 2011

PROJECT FREE LUNCH

Approximately one month ago I began OPERATION FREE LUNCH with a letter to Carl's Jr. thanking them for their Jalapeno Burger, and I have followed that up with another letter every Monday (my day off) to another eatery. In my letter to Carl's Jr. I argued that Hamburgers are the best food in the world and that their Jalapeno Burger was the very best kind of hamburger so, ipso facto, the Jalapeno Burger is the very best food in the world. Pretty sound logic, right?
They responded by sending me two, count 'em two, free Six Dollar Burgers cleverly designed to resemble hamburgers. If you subtract my $0.44 cent stamp that's an $11.56 return on investment. Pretty good, right?

Next I targeted Red Robin praising their garlic fries as well as the superior service we received from our waiter, Valencia, at the Red Robin in Temecula. I also wrote to the good people down at Pepsi inc. professing my undying fealty to them in the ongoing war vs. Coke. At this time I have not yet heard back from either (Return on investment, -$0.88). Thanks to the generosity of Carl's Jr. I am still ahead though by $10.68.
My next letter was to McDonalds praising them for their Play Areas, speedy service, and overall affordability, which is certainly important in these days of want and woe. They replied right away with two free items off of the dollar menu. Everything I write in my letters is positive and true, and, in case you are wondering, I never come right out and ask for free stuff. Subtract the $0.44 for that postage and now I'm ahead by $12.24.
Today I took a half hour* to knock out some letters to Subway, Chipotle, Starbucks, and Joe's Crab Shack. I'll keep you posted.

*Actually, I do not have too much time on my hands, as you might reasonably suspect from posts such as these. If anything my days are tight as a drum with work, school, ministry and four little kids. Don't judge me for how I use my free time.


5 comments:

The Fredricksons: Brian, Britney, Salty, and Benji said...

Speechless....let me gather my thoughts here. Ahem.

Brian and I began couponing several months back, and while I'm not sure it has made a great deal of difference, it is nice to know I save a few extra bucks. This, however, is something else entirely. I can't help but think perhaps I ought to steal this grand idea, but I fear my motives are impure and therefore I do not deserve any freebies they might send me. I'll have to get my heart in order and ensure I am doing this for the right reasons.

Are you just mailing your letters to your local chains?

Josh Tate said...

No. I mail the corporate headquarters.

al'xae said...

Hey man, I've lived in that quiet town... no judgement at all. You could be zoning out to stupid TV instead. This seems like much more fun. :)

Chad said...

I should send a letter to the corporate headquarters of the best blog ever, Bummer-Free Zone. (My letters are also 100% true)

Josh Tate said...

The Pope of New Charlotte! Somebody had to step up and fill the void left when "Jesus, Family, Nascar" met its untimely demise.

I know I speak for the rest of your readership when I say that we have never entirely recovered.